Seeking • Finding • Healing
The Complete Guide to Self-Directed Inner Family Healing
If you experience a yearning to make peace with your history and a desire to create a compassionate and loving relationship with all of your inner ages, this book will gently lead you along a path of inner healing with rewards beyond imagination or expectations!
Using various writing exercises, you will tap into the wisdom, strengths and clarity you need to become the loving parental support and guide all your inner selves have yearned for and deserve.
Following word-for-word visualizations, you are introduced to an inner spiritual team that includes the support of future selves. Then, by utilizing Becky’s style of meditation, this self-directed, creative path to healing honors your inner timing and gently leads you to healing, where you will experience peace, self-love and freedom as a strong inner family.
For further inspiration and encouragement, throughout the book the author shares her path of inner family healing spanning over forty years through personal visualization and stories of her ongoing healing. In addition, you’ll be provided with various healing stories of others who the author has guided along this path.
The Four Stages of Healing
If you are a Seeker looking for a coach to help you facilitate this valuable, healing tool of Inner Family work, I, assisted by my Inner Family Healing Model, will guide you through the necessary foundation elements and offer you visualization outlines to create the needed connection to your inner family, your inner world, and your inner healing.
As a miraculous bonus, this path offers so much more than just accessing a healing for your history and your younger ages. It provides a pathway for you to utilize your own spiritual wisdoms and strengths and invites your younger selves to deepen their trust in you. It also aids in identifying future selves and lets you access their wisdom, comfort, and guidance.
Additionally, you will be introduced to a uniquely creative visualization that allows you to talk with your various bodies. As the embodiment of your Mental Self, you can meet with your Emotional Self, Physical Self, and Spiritual Self. This Board of Directors visualization can offer information, support, and guidance beyond imagination!
So, the inner family healing path isn’t simply restricted to healing the pain of younger selves; any painful experiences in adulthood can be reframed and healed as well. Although this deep work will be difficult at times, and will require time and commitment, it can be your transformation into living the Grandest Version of your life!
Therefore, this is the invitation to begin the path to wholeness, creativity, and inner peace. I hope you find the willingness and courage to begin to travel the path to Inner Family Healing!
The Foundation work will begin by guiding you to articulate your relationship with the Universe. I believe that by first uncovering, or identifying your spiritual truths, you can decide if they are your mature, spiritually-grounded ones, or if they are old ideas your younger selves unconsciously made up about how the world works from their youthful perspective. Only then can we solidify our foundation to live from our mature, sane, and sound beliefs.
When clearly articulated, most of us find we live more consistently from our spiritual principles. So, although we will be exploring spiritual subjects, you will not be focusing on religious dogma, thus leaving room for even the agnostic mindset. The Foundation work will assist you in building a solid trust in your Self as well as the Universe.
Our younger selves—especially ones who are wounded, will need to know they can trust us to be the wise, comforting, protecting parents they need, deserve, and have yearned for. One of the ways we will exhibit our trustworthiness is by deliberately identifying any old, immature beliefs –old ideas– and designing or articulating new asset beliefs, or new ideas. Completing this exercise, called Topic Inventories, on a variety of topics can begin to bring positive changes to your life as well as hope and trust from our younger selves.
In the short run, the road to fully healing can be difficult and painful; it requires time, energy, and commitment. It is not always easy to find our way to spiritual beliefs and sane behaviors, but the miracle of changing our interpretations and reactions to our history and tapping into newly identified strengths and wisdom is worth all the hard work.
In the long run, inner family healing can make daily living richly creative and Divinely supported. It’s important to know that this is not a once-through healing tool. It is an ongoing system to keep us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy. It can be a most valuable resource as we age, and as life gives us challenges and heartbreaks. It lets us take life on life’s terms with grace and dignity. I hope you commit to this path to freedom.
The Inner Journey
The Inner Journey begins by doing some review work. Revisiting the Foundation exercises will help prepare you for the deeper work ahead. By going over your journaling, where you clarified your understanding of your Higher Power (your God), reviewing your spiritual self-talk phrases, and rereading all the Topic Inventories you completed, you are creating stability for the inner family journey.
When you are ready, your Inner Journey will start with an important and powerful visualization: identifying and building your inner Spiritual Team. In the first visualization, you will be introduced to a valuable Spiritual Team led by your God energies for protection and comfort, followed by being introduced to your Guardian Angels and/or Spiritual Guides for support and guidance. This beginning visualization will end with welcoming in Future Selves, ages that you decided to invite in.
This is the beginning of the “village” that contains the necessary strengths to help “raise” or heal your younger selves. Having this strong, spiritual support group to accompany you in each visualization is priceless. They will always surround you and quiet any fears, and they will offer love and support as you embark on future visualizations.
With this Spiritual Team supporting you, the second visualization focuses on delivering a Parental Commitment to a variety of younger ages you decided to begin your healing path with. Therefore, prior to this visualization, you will need to have written out your loving commitment statement. By rereading it a few times, you will then be able to communicate the essence during the visualization.
Per outlined in Seeking . . . Finding . . . Healing . . . there are many suggestions additional ideas for inner family healing visualization meetings. When working together, either individually or at a group level, I lead and record the visualizations for your perusal; all other input is not recorded.
More Tools to Healing
Although the primary inner family work involves healing your history through healing your younger selves, this Inner Family Healing path is ongoing.
It is a precious resource of guidance, connection to wholeness, and an ability to access creativity and spirituality for everyday life. I help clients increase their ability to visualize so they can utilize the support and ongoing contact with all of their inner family; it is no longer just a path; it is now their personal healing tool.
They have their own Spiritual Team, Board of Directors, Younger Selves, Future Selves . . . their own inner family that will never leave them, will always offer support to them, and as a unit, can walk through the hardest times in life together. They have a bond and a trust in their togetherness.
Self-forgiveness, releasing shame, and letting go of resentments are all possible with these tools. Additionally, I introduce a style of visualization where you can communicate with other people’s souls. Even in the most difficult relationships, compassion, forgiveness, understanding, and accountability can be communicated. This valuable tool can be used whether or not the other person is currently alive.
I look forward to hearing from those of you who have tackled the self-directed path; I hope you share your miracles with me. And those of you who would like a coach, I hope to hear from you, too.Blessings to you all!
Praise for the Book
I have used Becky’s Inner Family Model both personally and with clients for many years, often with profound results. Personally, the connection with my own inner family, both younger and older selves, has allowed deep healing. The work allows me to be more present and more grounded in my life and to make choices from an adult place rather than being ‘hijacked’ by unacknowledged or unheard younger selves. I have seen clients experience the same kind of deep healing and growth from this work. No matter how wonderful our childhoods might have been, doing Becky’s Inner Family work invites a deeper connection with ourselves and our soul.
My friend, colleague, and mentor, Becky L. Jackson, continues to contribute soles to the ground effective self-help soul healing. Her newest book, Seeking, Finding, Healing, The Complete Guide to Self- Directed Inner Family Healing, provides the reader with an easy to understand, loving, thorough, and compassionate method for deep healing that guides anyone through suffering the consequences of childhood trauma. Becky humbly shares her own story and the stories of others as inspiration to use these well-constructed therapeutic strategies. I also have benefitted tremendously through Becky’s guidance. Thirty years ago, I was pregnant with my only child and joined one of Becky’s living abstinent and body image groups to help me embrace a woman’s greatest gift. I spent 3 years in her groups, learning tools of healing, developing a network of support, and digging deep into my own psyche. I learned how to let go of unhealthy coping mechanisms and began to live a more joyful life and to feel more confident as a parent and a therapist. Thirty years later I continue to refer my therapy clients to Becky's literature, her workshops, and her personal counseling. I am so moved by this simple-to-follow book. I am reminded of the deep work that I courageously fathomed and the mental and physical freedom that comes by doing this step by step work. Seeking... Finding... Healing... will uproot that critical inner voice and replace it with a loving and affirming self-belief that will help you accomplish your personal goals. This is a must read; and allow your imagination to unfold an inner loving family of healing.
Thanks for allowing me to read your manuscript. I loved what you wrote about Jeff. I can't imagine what that must be like.
You are definitely one of the strongest and wisest women I know and I hope God will continue to give you the strength and wisdom to move forward and share your light with so many other people.
I’ve watched you walk through life’s joys, pain and sorrows with such grace and dignity; you have been a role model and an inspiration for me.
As your friend and a clinician in private practice, I have valued your support and guidance over the last thirty years. You have my respect and admiration for your pioneering work with others.
This book reflects your knowledge, insight and wisdom. I hope many others take up the tools of growth and healing you offer.
I would highly recommend reading - Seeking . . . Finding . . . Healing . . . to anyone who desires motivation and information to a Complete Guide to a Self-Directed Inner Family Healing.
The author, Becky L. Jackson provides the reader with an easy to understand, loving, thorough, and compassionate method for a deep healing.
The book lays a roadmap that guides anyone suffering the consequences of a childhood or an adult trauma to find peace and healing, Becky humbly shares her own story of her inner healing process and all her inner selves as well as many dark and light healing experiences, also included the stories of others, all as an inspiration to use those well-constructed therapeutic strategies for a long-lasting healing and inner loving family.
If you are ready for true transformation and ready to invest in yourself for greater levels of life, then this is the book for you. This book contains a brilliant manual for changing from the inside out. It gives you the foundation and ultimately the “how to” framework that sets you up for an inward journey of transformation. In this book, Ms. Jackson displays vulnerability by sharing her personal journey using her strategy of inner family healing. This is not your average philosophical self-help book, this book gives you practical tools and a step by step process to be able to heal the traumas of your inner family and overcome limiting emotions that have kept you chained to the patterns of your past. This inward journey is especially beneficial because you are not in it alone, rather you get to tackle this quest with an inner team. This book is about healing your past selves and becoming the best version of your future selves. It is about knowing that, no matter what, you are never alone. Finally, it is about strengthening your relationship with yourself and that is the most important relationship we will ever have. I am so ecstatically grateful and beyond proud to call the author of this treasure my grandma.
Reading Seeking…Finding…Healing… has been absolutely transformational for me. I've struggled with overcoming trauma and negative behavior patterns my whole life. When you're constantly being beaten down, by life and by your own actions, you can stay stuck or you can take action to heal, and that's what this book provides a framework to do. Whenever I thought about taking any kind of risk, there was always a voice in my head talking me out of it. After reading this book, I realized the voice was my twelve-year-old self; she was nervous and scared and had been badly betrayed by her family, and she didn't want to try anything new again. I never would have realized who she was or how awful she felt without following Becky's ingenious guidance. When I allowed her to speak, we were able to overcome her barriers and I was able to step fully into my role as the leader of my younger selves, rather than letting them lead me. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to find true resolve and healing.